


You've Got Mail

by hipgrab (merrymegtargaryen)



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, it's a you've got mail au, just like the title, look I'm bad at descriptive tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-05-12
Packaged: 2019-10-30 14:39:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 17,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17830472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merrymegtargaryen/pseuds/hipgrab
Summary: I go online, and my breath catches in my chest until I hear those three little words: You’ve got mail. I hear nothing, not even a sound on the streets of New York, just the beat of my own heart. I have mail. From you.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not pretending this is a great fic or a new idea; I literally just decided to write a You've Got Mail AU, because You've Got Mail is essentially a Pride and Prejudice AU, and reylo, as we all know, is another Pride and Prejudice AU. So this is...a Pride and Prejudice AU inception? I guess?
> 
> (I am extremely hungover as I type this, just go with it.)
> 
> So...yeah. Enjoy!

Rey wakes up as she almost always does these days--that is, with Poe standing over her bed. 

“Look at this!” he says, brandishing the newspaper. Poe likes to wake her up this way. It’s one of his quirks that Rey has decided to find charming instead of annoying. “The entire workforce of the state of Virginia had to remove Solitaire from their computers because no one had done any work in six weeks!”

“That’s so sad,” she says, sitting up in bed. Part of the reason she fell for Poe is because he cares so deeply about so many issues. He’s passionate. Rey likes that--more men ought to be passionate. 

“You know what it is?” he continues, sitting on the bed.

“What?”

“The end of Western civilization.” 

Rey kisses his cheek. “That’s a shame. Don’t you have work?”

“Name  _ one _ good thing technology’s ever done for us, just  _ one thing _ ,”  he rambles on.

“Electricity.”

He pauses. “Okay, that’s one good thing,” he admits. “But so much technology is  _ bad _ . Your computer, for example.”

“My computer isn’t bad,” she says, getting up to brush her teeth. “It’s very useful.”

“You’re addicted to it.”

“I am not!”

“I heard you last night, clacking away.”

“I was writing an email to a dear friend.” 

“Why couldn’t you just write them  _ real _ mail?” he counters. “I’ve gotta go, I’ll see you tonight.”

She grunts an affirmative, mouth full of toothpaste. As soon as she hears the door click, she spits out her toothpaste, rinses her mouth, and then skips to her computer. AOL dials up, and then she hears the familiar voice say those three magic words.

“You’ve got mail.”

It is, as she hoped, from KyloRen. 

_ Dear friend, _

_ Don’t you love New York in the fall? It makes me want to buy school supplies. I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address. On the other hand, this not knowing has its charms.  _

It does for Rey, too. She’s only been exchanging emails with KyloRen for a little while now, but she already feels like they have a connection. His username is his favorite book character; her username is BookScavenger. It was for love of books that they’d started chatting, but now they talk about any and everything under the sun. Getting emails from KyloRen is Rey’s favorite part of the day.

.

Not far from Rey’s brownstone, Ben Solo presses the button on the coffee maker to make coffee for both him and his girlfriend. 

“Thanks, babe,” Bazine says, heels clicking on the hardwood floor. She kisses his cheek--lightly, because she’s just applied her lipstick.

Bazine is exactly the sort of woman Ben likes to date. She’s conventionally attractive, conventionally feminine, and conventionally New York. She refuses to be seen without makeup and all of her outfits, even her workout gear, look like something straight out of a magazine. Ben likes that about her. 

They met at an event last year, when she was promoting one of her clients. They hadn’t fallen hard and fast--it had been a gradual, sneaking-up-on-them sort of romance. Ben doesn’t even  really remember how they’d decided to move in together, but here they are.

“Don’t forget we have that dinner tonight.”

Ben makes a face. “Can’t we just donate and not go?”

“Silly, we have to make an appearance,” she chastises lightly. “Besides, you look so sexy in a black tie.”

“I do?” He grins. “Well, okay. But I have plans for that black tie after dinner.”

“Oh, you.” 

As soon as Bazine has gone, locking the door behind her, Ben sprints for his computer. He knows he probably has an unhealthy addiction, but how can he help it when BookScavenger exists?

His mail loads, and after a moment, that voice says those three magic words.

“You’ve got mail.”

It is, as he’d hoped, from BookScavenger.

_ Dear friend, _

_ I like to start my notes to you as if we’re already in the middle of a conversation. I pretend that we’re the oldest and dearest of friends, as opposed to what we actually are, which is two strangers who don’t know each other’s names and met in a Chat Room one day. “What will KyloRen say today?” I wonder. I turn on the computer. I wait impatiently as it boots up. I go online, and my breath catches in my chest until I hear those three little words: You’ve got mail. I hear nothing, not even a sound on the streets of New York, just the beat of my own heart. I have mail. From you. _

_ Yours, _

_ BookScavenger _

It’s not cheating, what Ben is doing. They’re just pen pals. Pen pals who barely know each other and have no intention of ever meeting. Bazine is the woman who he comes home to at night, who he has sex with in his king-size bed, for whom he buys flowers and diamonds. BookScavenger is just a friend, one who happens to share a deep connection with him. 

That’s all.

Isn’t it?

.

“Good morning!” Rey calls cheerfully as she enters Alderaan Books. “Isn’t it a wonderful morning?”

“That it is,” Leia says with some amusement.

Rey’s been working at Alderaan Books since she was in college. It was just supposed to be a part time job to help pay tuition, but that was five years ago--now, she works full time and has no plans to ever leave. Even if she wanted to, she doesn’t think she could leave Leia. The older woman is the closest thing to a parental figure Rey has, as well as being one of her closest friends. 

“I love New York in the fall. It makes me want to buy school supplies,” Rey says, echoing KyloRen’s earlier sentiment. 

“School supplies?” Leia puts a hand on her hip. “Is there something you want to share with the class, Rey?”

“Nope,” Rey says, skipping around the shop as they prepare for opening. She should really be a little more subtle about KyloRen--after all, she’s dating Poe, and everyone knows it. 

But it’s not like she’s  _ cheating _ or anything. She doesn’t even know KyloRen’s real name, or what he looks like. They’re never going to meet or have sex or do any of the things people do when they cheat. So it’s not cheating. It’s just. Hard to explain to other people. 

“Good morning,” Rose chirps as she enters. “Rey, you look especially cheerful this morning.”

“She’s hiding something,” Leia says, turning back to the cash register. “See if someone younger can get it out of her.”

Rose turns expectantly to Rey.

“It’s nothing!” Rey insists. “I just...I’ve been talking to someone.”

Leia and Rose look up in interest. 

“Someone  _ other _ than Poe?” Rose asks excitedly.

Rey hesitates. “Yes, but--”

Rose squeals. “Rey Johnson, you sly dog!”

“It’s not like that!” Rey says with more insistency than before. “We’ve just been emailing, that’s all.”

“Like cybersex?” Rose asks.

“No, not like that,” Rey says, blushing, because she hadn’t considered the possibility of cybersex. Would she? Would KyloRen? Banish the thought. “We just...talk.”

“About what?” Leia presses.

Rey shrugs. “About books, mostly, but sometimes we just talk about...the weather, and New York in the fall, and…”

“Wanting to buy school supplies,” Leia finishes with a smile. “I see.” 

“Look, I don’t know anything about him,”  Rey says. “I don’t know his name or where he lives or what he looks like--”

“But you know how he feels about books, the weather, and New York in the fall,” Leia says. “Those are the kinds of things you should be talking about when you’re feeling someone out.”

The door opens to reveal Finn, clutching a morning coffee as if his life depends on it. The three women exchange a glance.

“Finn,” Rose says. “How do you feel about books, the weather, and New York in the fall?”

He stops, staring at them. “What?”

“Just answer the question,” Leia commands.

Finn considers it. “Well, I work in a bookstore, so obviously I like books. I like the weather right now. And I like New York in the fall, but who doesn’t?”

“Does it make you want to buy school supplies?” Rose presses.

Finn frowns. “No? Nothing wants to make me buy school supplies. That reminds me of school, which I don’t have to go to anymore.”

“Well, it’s not Finn,” Rose announces.

“Who isn’t me?”

“Rey’s cyber-boyfriend.”

“I do not have a cyber-boyfriend,” Rey says, weary of denial by now. “There is someone I talk to online, that’s all.”

“Like cybersex?”

“Look at that, it’s time to open,” Rey says loudly. 

.

Phasma is saying something, but Ben’s mind is a million miles away.

She likes getting mail.  _ From him _ . 

“Are you listening?”

“No,” he says, abashed. 

“I didn’t think so.”

Phasma is probably the closest thing Ben has to a friend. They work together, but Ben likes her more than he likes most of his coworkers. The woman is statuesque, beautiful in a terrifying sort of way, wears heels even on construction sites like the one in which they are currently walking, and a lesbian. That last part is significant because it means Ben has never tried to date her and none of his girlfriends ever really feel threatened by his closeness to Phasma. 

“Where is your head?” she asks. 

“‘I hear nothing, not a sound on the streets of New York, just the beat of my own heart,’” he quotes.

“Who said that?”

“No one.” He walks ahead. “So is the electrician coming today?”

“Ben, I  _ just _ told you, he hit a deer and won’t be coming in today.” Phasma puts a hand on her hip. “What’s going on? Are you and Bazine engaged or something?” 

“ _ God _ no.” And then, to change the subject, he asks, “Should we, I don’t know, announce ourselves to the neighbors or something?”

“ _ No _ ,” Phasma says at once. “Ben, that is a terrible idea. This is the Upper West Side. They’ll  _ hate _ us. It’s best to just let well enough alone.”

“Right,” he sighs. “Remind me why we’re building here again?”

“Because once they see our discount prices and fake Starbucks, they’ll forget all about their morals and come running,” Phasma says. “They’ll hate us in the beginning…”

“But we’ll get ‘em in the end,” Ben finishes. “Right. In the meantime, let’s just put up a big sign that says, ‘Coming Soon: A First Order Bookstore and The End of Western Civilization As You Know It.’”

“Catchy.”

“I try.”

Truthfully, Ben can sometimes feel his mother’s disapproval radiating all the way over from...well, actually, not that far now. Which puts things into perspective, because this isn’t just a random neighborhood where they’re building this store--this is his mother’s neighborhood. The place where she runs her own bookstore, and one that’s probably going  to go out of business if First Order is successful. 

They don’t speak often, him and his mother. She doesn’t even know they’re putting up a store here. 

Maybe, after she finds out, they’ll speak even less.

Ben can’t decide if that’s a good thing or not.

.

Finn comes back from lunch with a grim look. “They’re putting up a First Order books around the corner.” 

Leia drops a stack of books. Everyone rushes to help her.

“It’s okay!” Rey says reassuringly. “It’s just a big superstore with, with employees who don’t know anything.”

“I know, I’m not worried,” Leia says, but she looks pale. “It just...came as a surprise, that’s all.” She forces a smile. “Rey’s right--it’s just a superstore. We provide service and we know all of our stock and our customers intimately, and that’s something First Order will never be able to say.”

But Rey can’t help feeling that Leia’s more concerned than she’s letting on. She wonders if maybe her career at Alderaan Books is finally heading to its end.

.

Further downtown, Ben looks at the Upper West Side from Snoke’s office.

“Construction’s running on time, which is good, but I’m a little concerned about the response from the neighborhood.”

“I told him not to worry about it,” Phasma says, crossing her legs. “We’ll meet with some resistance at the beginning, but curiosity will get the better of them, and once they take a look, we’ll have them hook, line, and sinker.” 

“Precisely,” Snoke says from behind his desk. If Ben isn’t exactly close with his mother, then Snoke is a second father to him. In fact, Ben talks to Snoke far more than he talks to his actual father. “Don’t worry about it, Ben.”

“I still think appealing to the neighborhood as much as possible would be in our best interest,” he says. “Which is why I think we should have a section dedicated to New York history and architecture. I’m also thinking a section dedicated to writers who have lived on the West Side.”

“Excellent idea,” Hux says. It’s rare Hux agrees with Ben, which is how Ben knows Snoke will definitely approve this plan. “Should appease those liberal nuts.”

“They’re called readers, Hux.”

“Liberal nuts,” Hux says again. 

“Is there any competition?” Snoke asks.

They all share a hearty laugh over that, because the idea of any bookstore being competition for First Order does, of course, merit a laugh. 

Ben doesn’t tell them about his mother’s bookstore. They’ll find out eventually, probably, but for now, he decides to keep it quiet. 

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

_ Dear friend, _

_ When I was growing up in England, I used to see glow worms all the time. That’s what we called them--over here, you call them “fireflies”, which is a much more romantic way to say it. I haven’t seen any since I moved to New York.  _ The Times _ just ran this lovely but sad piece about how most native New Yorkers have never seen fireflies. Isn’t that sad?  _

_ Yours, _

_ BookScavenger _

 

_ Dear friend, _

_ I am a native New Yorker and I have seen fireflies, but never in the city. My uncle lives in the Catskills, and every summer we’d make a trip to see him. I remember thinking it looked like little stars had come down to Earth. _

_ They’re so pretty at night and from a distance. Up close in the daylight, they are ugly little beetles and I cried the first time I realized that they were one and the same.  _

_ Yours, _

_ KyloRen _

 

_ Dear friend, _

_ I hate bugs. I don’t know many people who  _ _ like _ _ them, but I’ve always hated them. And there are so many in this country. I have a confession: my first apartment had cockroaches. I cried for three hours straight after trapping the first one under a saucepan, and then I finally got my super to dispose of it. I had to grow a thick skin after that, but I’ll never forget the sheer terror of seeing a beetle that BIG scuttling about as if it had any right to be in my apartment. _

_ Yours, _

_ BookScavenger _

 

_ Dear friend, _

_ Cockroaches are pure evil. I read that they can survive nuclear holocaust. After trying to get rid of the one I found in my college dorm, I firmly believe that. In many ways, I think they’re even worse than rats. Rats, at least, are big enough that they can’t hide in as many nooks and crannies. Rats make more noise and are easier to trap. I found one, also in my college dorm, and said, “Thank god” out loud when I realized it wasn’t a cockroach. _

_ Yours, _

_ KyloRen _

 

_ Dear friend, _

_ I have been fortunate enough to never find a rat in my home, just in the alley behind it. Sometimes I feel oddly bad for them. Think how much garbage they help destroy. Think how many bugs and other pests they must eat. And they’re covered in filth and diseases. _

_ But this feeling never lasts long, because as soon as I see one rear up and hiss at me when I’m trying to go about my business, I decide that they are Satan’s minions and I want nothing more than their immediate extinction. _

_ Yours, _

_ BookScavenger _

 

_ Dear friend, _

_ Rats are decidedly evil, and just a tier below cockroaches, which are perhaps a tier below people who talk at the theater.  _

_ I went to see a blackbox play last night--not by choice, but because a friend’s girlfriend was in it. It was one of the most agonizing hours of my life, during which my friend’s girlfriend did little more than shout random words for emphasis and look like an extra on a soap. During the entire production, an old couple talked about how they should have gone to see  _ Mamma Mia!.  _ I finally leaned down and whispered, “You really should have,” and then the usher had the audacity to ask  _ _ me _ _ to stop talking. Me! _

_ In any case, my friend apologized profusely for the experience and assured me that she was only dating this girl because she’s dynamite in the sack. I’m not actually sure if that makes the situation better or worse. _

_ Yours, _

_ KyloRen _

 

_ Dear friend, _

_ First, I need to tell you that I burst out laughing at your story. I am truly sorry you had such a horrifying experience. You are a very good person  for accompanying your friend to her girlfriend’s blackbox play. I would have feigned sick or walked into traffic.  _

_ My friend is also an actor. He’s always auditioning for toothpaste commercials and updating his headshot and, of course, starring in those terrible blackbox plays. I only saw three or four before I told him that if he wants our friendship to endure, he cannot ask me to see anymore of them. I realize this may be unfair, as most of the audience is made up of friends and family who feel obligated to support their artistic loved one, but I really couldn’t take another one. _

_ I do like seeing his other plays, though. They’re all off- or off-off-Broadway, but I think those can be the best ones sometimes.  _

_ Yours, _

_ BookScavenger _

 

_ Dear friend, _

_ I do prefer off- and off-off-Broadway plays to Broadway plays, and I prefer any of those to blackbox plays.  _

_ I wish I had more time to enjoy theatre, but I have a demanding job that includes dinners and social events, and by the time I get home some nights I just want to put on my pajamas and park myself in front of the TV.  _

_ Yours, _

_ KyloRen _

 

_ Dear friend, _

_ I completely understand. I work in a store where I spend most of my day talking to customers and being polite, pleasant, and personable. By the time I get home, I don’t want to talk to anyone, or do anything that requires more than the minimal amount of effort.  _

_ Which isn’t to say that I don’t enjoy the occasional dinners and social events and going to the theatre, only that I have to adequately prepare myself for that kind of additional extroversion.  _

_ Yours, _

_ BookScavenger _

 

_ Dear friend, _

_ “Additional extroversion” is an excellent way to put it. I am an introvert--I like my own company, and the thought of being unnecessarily around people is somewhat distressing, which is why every time I get dragged to one of these social events, I find myself pitching a small temper tantrum. Thankfully,  as I am an adult, no one is there to witness such tantrums, except for the old man who lives across the alley and who, to my knowledge, does not own a shirt.  _

_ People often mistake my introversion for rudeness, but the truth of the matter is that I’m just not good at conversation. I’m always worried about how I look or sound or come across, and I spend so much time in my head, wondering how I look, that I forget to answer a question or barely take part in the conversation. I frequently learn that so-and-so thought I was being rude or that I don’t like them, and I never know how to apologize for my behavior, with the upshot that I just appear ruder for not apologizing for my behavior. Does that make sense? _

_ If we do ever meet, please know that if I’m being silent or distracted, it isn’t because I’m bored or find you boring, just that I’m worried how you’ll think of me. _

_ Yours, _

_ KyloRen _

 

_ Dear friend, _

_ You remind me a little of Mr. Darcy. Everyone thinks he’s so snobby because he’s quiet and says inappropriate things, but the truth is just that he’s terribly awkward. He’s so in love with Elizabeth Bennet and he’s so afraid of mucking it up that he ends up a self-fulfilling prophecy by mucking it up. _

_ I’m not saying you’re awkward, but maybe a similar principle applies where you’re so afraid of being rude that you accidentally come off as rude.  _

_ Or maybe I just like finding excuses to talk about  _ Pride and Prejudice _ \--it is, after all, my favorite book. _

_ Yours, _

_ BookScavenger _

 

_ Dear friend, _

_ What do you like so much about  _ Pride and Prejudice _ , if you don’t mind my asking? I could never quite get into Jane Austen, but I would love for you to change my mind. _

_ Yours, _

_ KyloRen _

 

_ Dear friend, _

_ I would love to change your mind! I only hope that I’m successful. _

Pride and Prejudice _ is my favorite book, and I imagine the favorite book of many other women, because it’s the ultimate female power fantasy. Elizabeth Bennet refuses to settle for a man who doesn’t fully and completely love her, and she would rather die single than marry for anything other than love, which was incredibly unusual at the time, especially for a woman with no fortune. _

_ Enter Fitzwilliam Darcy, who is so sheltered and so socially inept that, despite finding Elizabeth beautiful, he is unable to prevent his social awkwardness from hurting her feelings the very first time they meet. He loves her, but he’s under the mistaken impression that she should be grateful for his attention, a notion which Elizabeth disproves in the profoundest way possible. _

_ And then he learns from his mistakes! He learns that  _ _ he _ _ is the one who should be grateful for  _ _ her _ _ affection, and he does everything in his power to make her happy. In fact, making her happy becomes the ultimate goal, not winning her love, because he would rather have her be happy and not married to him than married to him but miserable. And Elizabeth finally realizes she’s been in love with him this whole time and she just needed him to grow up before she could be with him. At our core, we women just want men to grow up and do things for us because they make us happy, not because they want something from us.  _

_ I hope that makes sense. And that it changes your opinion. _

_ Yours, _

_ BookScavenger _

 

_ Dear friend, _

_ I’d never thought of it that way before. I always assumed women liked it because Mr. Darcy is an attractive asshole, the nineteenth century equivalent of a bad boy. The idea of him being a socially awkward rich kid with no idea how to talk to a girl is oddly appealing. I will read it again, and give you my thoughts. _

_ Yours, _

_ KyloRen _

 

_ Dear friend, _

_ Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life. Well, valuable, but small. And sometimes I wonder: do I do it because I like it? Or because I haven’t been brave? So much of  what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn’t it be the other way around?  _

_ I don’t really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. _

_ So, good night, dear void.  _

_ Yours, _

_ BookScavenger _

  
  



	3. Chapter 3

Ben finally gets the balls to visit his mother’s store.

She hasn’t called him recently, nor has she returned his calls, which is how he knows she’s found out about the store. 

She’s having storytime with the kids when he arrives. Storytime is possibly Leia’s favorite part of the day, he knows. He lingers in the back, browsing through books while she reads.

“Can I help you find something?” a cute, British young woman asks him quietly.

“No thanks,” he says politely. “I’m just waiting on Leia.”

The woman gets a big grin on her face. “She’s great, isn’t she?”

“Absolutely.” He feels dirty, somehow, for coming in here like this. He feels like he’s lying, even though nothing he’s said to this girl is untrue. It feels like sneaking around behind enemy lines, like hiding in a wooden horse only to spring a trap on his mother. 

“She loves Storytime,” the woman goes on. “You know, they’re putting up a First Order books around the corner, and I bet they aren’t going to do anything like this.”

Well, they weren’t, but now the cogs are turning.

As soon as Leia comes back from Storytime, she sees him and her face falls.  _ Great, _  he thinks.  _ Always disappointing dear old Mom _ .

“Hello, Ben,” she says crisply.

“Hi, Mom.” He leans forward to kiss her cheek, which she presents with icy indifference.

“This is your son?” the girl from before asks, eyes wide.

“Yes. Rey, this is Ben. Ben, this is Rey.”

“It’s so nice to meet you,” Rey gushes, shaking his hand. “I can’t believe I’ve been working here for five years and we’re just now meeting--do you live in New York?”

“I do,” he says, shifting uncomfortably.

“I know you’re busy,” Leia says pointedly. “Let’s go to the back and...get this over with.”

Rey stares at them in surprise, but Ben is just happy for the excuse to get out of there. He follows his mother into the back office, which she closes behind them.

“You’re putting me out of business.”

Ben winces. “That wasn’t anyone’s intention--”

“But it’s going to happen anyway.” She folds her arms over her chest. “Your big bookstore with discount prices and knockoff Starbucks is going to entice people who like books but don’t want to pay for them and then I’m going to stop getting customers and then I’m going to go out of business.”

“Mom, please, this wasn’t my decision,” he pleads. “You know this was Snoke’s.”

“And did you do anything to stop him? Did you ever once say, ‘My mother works around the corner, please can we build this multimillionaire project literally anywhere else?’” When Ben doesn’t answer, she makes a guttural noise of contempt. “Get out.”

His eyes widen. “But Mom--”

“Get. Out.” She opens the door, pointing him out.

Ben does walk out, rather feeling like he’s got his tail between his legs.

“It was nice meeting you,” Rey says, still wearing a confused look.

“Yeah,” he says, glancing back at his mother. “You too.”

He leaves, and Leia doesn’t seem a bit sorry about it.

That hurts more than he was anticipating.

.

After Thanksgiving is always a busy time at Alderaan Books because everyone is buying books for the children in their life.

It’s still busy, this November, but not nearly as much as usual. 

“We made $1,200 more this time last year,” Leia sighs as she looks at the computer.

Rey exchanges a worried look with Rose. “That could just be a weird...one-off fluke type thing, right?”

“It could be,” Leia agrees. “Or it could be something else.”

“Look, they just opened, it’s a new store...the novelty will wear off,” Rey says. 

“Or it won’t.” Leia sighs, taking off her glasses.

“We can’t go under,” Rose says quietly. “We just  _ can’t _ . This job is...everything to me.”

“And to me.”

“And to me.”

“And to me,” Leia agrees. “We’ll...see how we do this holiday season.”

Before any of them can say anything else, someone enters the shop. They all perk up, calming down when they see that it’s a local children’s author, Amilyn Holdo.

“Amilyn!” Leia exclaims. “I heard you have a new book out!”

“Oh, it won’t be out until January,” Amilyn says. “Are you...going to be open by then?”

Leia’s face tightens. “We certainly hope to be.”

“It’s just awful, what they’re doing to the neighborhood,”  Amilyn gushes. “We’ve got to support our local business owners! Have you thought about contacting  _ The Times _ ?”

_ The Times _ . Newspapers. Rey suddenly remembers that she has, for the better part of a year, been dating a writer for  _ The Observer _ . 

“I think I have someone who could help.”

.

Bazine has dragged him to yet another event when he sees her again.

Rey. 

Rey of Alderaan Books.

The bookstore that’s probably slowly folding under his. 

She’s on the  arm of some guy he vaguely recognizes, but she smiles and makes her way to him while he’s waiting for Bazine’s drink at the bar. So, Leia hasn’t told her yet.

Great.

“Hello!” she says brightly.

“Hi,” he says with a polite smile. He wants, very badly, to get out of this conversation. 

“Fancy seeing you here.”

“Yeah,” he says with an awkward laugh. The bartender hands him Bazine’s Stoli on ice, which he raises. “Well, I gotta go deliver this...see you.” He turns away before he can see the look on Rey’s face.

It doesn’t really matter, because she finds him a few minutes later while he’s loading food onto his plate.

“You work for  _ First Order Books _ ?” she hisses angrily. 

“Bookstores run in my family,” he says in what he hopes is a winning tone.

It isn’t.

“ _ Leia _ owns a bookstore,”  she hisses. “ _ You _ run a superstore.”

“I don’t run it, technically,” he says. “I just work for First Order.”

“Oh, that’s  _ so _ much better,” she snarls. “No wonder Leia was so unhappy to see you that day. I’d be unhappy too, if I owned a local bookstore upon which the neighborhood  _ depends _ , only to be put out of business by my own  _ son _ .”

“The store’s really going out of business?” he asks, because really, he has no way of knowing. It’s not like Leia tells him these things anymore.

Rey’s jaw works furiously.

“Rey, did you get the--oh, sorry to interrupt.” The vaguely familiar man from before wraps an arm around her waist and extends a hand to Ben. “Poe Dameron,  _ The Observer _ .”

“Ben Solo, First Order Books,” Ben  says, taking Poe Dameron’s hand.

Poe Dameron stares at him, eyes widening. “First Order Books? The  _ superstore _ ?”

“Uh-huh,” Ben says. 

“The enemy of the novel! The destroyer of local bookstores all over New York!”

“Look upon my works, ye mighty, and despair,” Ben says tonelessly. He’s decided that he doesn’t like Poe Dameron of  _ The Observer _ . 

“How do you sleep at night?” Poe Dameron demands to know.

Bazine chooses that moment to appear. “I use a wonderful over-the-counter drug called Ultradorm,” she says seriously. “It’s the only thing that doesn’t give me a sleep hangover--I  _ hate _ those.” She extends her hand. “Bazine Netal. You’re Poe Dameron, aren’t you?”

“Uh...yes,” Poe Dameron says, blinking.

“Your last piece in  _ The Observer _ about America’s addiction to computers was  _ inspiring _ ,” she says. “Truly inspiring. This one here won’t leave his computer alone,” she adds, elbowing Ben. “I told him he could learn a thing or two from it. Is it true you write everything with a typewriter? No computer whatsoever?”

“It is true,” Poe Dameron says proudly, and his chest puffs out so much that Rey falls helplessly behind him. “I find them so much more genuine than computers.”

“That is just  _ fascinating _ ,” Bazine says. “Have you ever considered publishing a book?”

“Well, haven’t we all?”

“ _ Lovely _ ,” she says, fishing into her clutch and producing her business card. “This is my card--please give me a call if you have any ideas. I’d  _ love _ to work with you.” She takes Ben’s arm, steering him away. “I heard what he was saying--my god, these hippy-dippy writers.”

Ben feels a rush of relief. “So you’re not going to do a book deal with him?”

“Oh, I might, if I think it’ll do well,” she says indifferently. “But it probably won’t.”

Ben beams. “I adore you.”

“Oh, darling, everyone does.”


	4. Chapter 4

_ Dear friend, _

_ I had a terrible evening. _

_ I’ll spare you the egregious details, but suffice it to say that someone who I thought was one thing turned out to be another, and when I confronted them about it, they were absolutely awful to me. My friend even tried to defend me but, like a cake that’s been sitting out too long, crumbled as soon as the bottom-dweller’s girlfriend blinked her pretty mascara’d eyes at him. Typical male. (No offense.) _

_ I know such thoughts are uncharitable and I shouldn’t think them, but I can’t help it. I try to be such a good person and to put out so much positivity, but lately, I’m surrounded by negativity. _

_ Yours, _

_ BookScavenger _

 

_ Dear friend, _

_ I’m sorry to hear about your terrible evening, and the bottom-dweller and his girlfriend. _

_ (No offense taken--we men are rather stupid and susceptible to a pair of pretty mascara’d eyes.) _

_ I had a terrible evening also. I don’t even want to talk about it, it was so unpleasant.  _

_ Actually, that’s a lie: I do want to talk about it. I want to talk about how it made me question if all the success I’ve built in my life is worth it. If I’m really just the money-sucking suit people think I am, and not an entrepreneur who worked his way up in an industry he loves and cares about. To quote your favorite author,  “Where so many hours have been spent in convincing myself I am right, is there not some reason to fear I may be wrong?”  _

_ Yes, I have been reading  _ Sense and Sensibility.  _ I have decided to read all of Jane Austen’s books because you like them so much, and I can think of no one’s opinion who I value higher than yours these days. _

_ Isn’t that strange? That we’ve never met, never seen each other, and yet, you mean so much to me? I suppose it’s like people who idealize celebrities and feel as if they know them. We could meet and be very disappointed in one another. _

_ Yours, _

_ KyloRen _

 

_ Dear friend, _

_ You’re right--we could meet and be disappointed in each other. Perhaps it’s for the best, then, that this remain as it is. _

_ I am so pleased to hear you’ve been reading more Austen! She really is wonderful, isn’t she? Next, you have to read  _ Persuasion. _ It’s the story of a woman who rejects her fiance because her family thinks he’s too poor, and years later, the fiance returns as a successful war hero she’d be lucky to be married to. At first he hates her for rejecting him, but he soon sees she’s miserable living under her family’s thumb and--well, I won’t spoil the ending for you, but it’s Austen, so you can imagine how it goes.  _

_ I’m sorry your evening was so unpleasant. I hope you feel that you can always talk to me about anything.  _

_ Yours, _

_ BookScavenger _

 

_ Dear friend, _

_ I hope you also feel that you can talk to me about anything. Even though we know nothing about each other, I often feel as if I know you better than some of the people who have been in my life for a very long time. _

_ And somehow, I think, I feel that you know me better than they do, too. Maybe because it’s easier to open up under the guise of anonymity. I’m sometimes afraid that if I open up like this to the people around me, they’ll think differently about me. Actually, I know they will. Over the years, I’ve cultivated a version of myself and everyone thinks that version is me. But this, right here, right now, talking with you, is the realest me there is, I think.  _

_ Maybe that was sappier and more sentimental than you wanted it to be.  _

_ Yours, _

_ KyloRen _

 

_ Dear friend, _

_ Bring on the sappy sentimentality! I don’t think there’s enough of it in our world.  _

_ It’s nearly Christmas. For most people, I think that means a happy time. For me, it’s always sad. _

_ I never knew my family, you see. My parents abandoned me when I was six. I don’t really remember them. And I never had much of a family after that; I grew up in foster homes that weren’t very nice. Christmas always makes me think of families, and that always makes me sad. _

_ The last couple years, my friend invited me and another coworker with an unpleasant past over to her house. She and her sister lost their parents, and we sad little orphans come together and enjoy a nice, quiet little holiday as best we can. It’s nice, but it’s also depressing, because it reminds me that I don’t have a real family. I know that isn’t the most important thing and I know that found families can be better than biological ones, but it still makes me sad. _

_ What do you do? Something better, I hope. _

_ Yours, _

_ BookScavenger _

 

_ Dear friend, _

_ My family is Jewish and a little Catholic, so the holidays are a weird time of year for me. We celebrated Christmas growing up, in the sense that there was a tree and presents and lots of baked goods, but we also celebrated Hanukkah. Hanukkah actually isn’t that big of a deal to us Jews, but in trying to make the Christmas season more inclusive, American Christians like to think of it as “the Jewish Christmas”. It isn’t, but I haven’t practiced in years, so I feel like I’m not really supposed to have an opinion on the matter.  _

_ All this to say, I spend Christmas Eve at my boss’s party, and then I visit my mom on Christmas Day to exchange presents and eat breakfast. I don’t know if I’m going to do that this year--we had a falling out.  _

_ Yours, _

_ KyloRen _

 

_ Dear friend, _

_ I hope you’re able to mend things with your mother--I don’t want to project on you, but I can tell you that I’d give anything to have a mother with whom I could spend any holiday. Even Labor Day or Halloween. You never know when she might leave your life for good. _

_ Yours, _

_ BookScavenger _

 

_ Dear friend, _

_ You are absolutely right--I should patch things up with my mother. My father passed away a  few years ago and she’s all I have left.  _

_ I hope your Christmas isn’t as depressing as it usually is. I hope you and your friends are able to enjoy each other’s company without pity or resignation and that you’re able to form traditions that are unique to the four of you. I will be thinking of you on Christmas Day. _

_ Yours, _

_ KyloRen _

  
  



	5. Chapter 5

The grocery store is packed on Christmas Eve, and Rey supposes that’s what she gets for waiting. She knew she should have picked up wine the day before, but it had been so cold and the walk to the store had seemed so unappealing…

She only buys the one bottle, and because it’s the shorter line (though that isn’t saying much), she gets in the cash-only lane. 

“Seven fifty-two,” the girl behind the counter says when she finally makes it to the front.

Rey reaches into her wallet--and feels her eyes widen when she realizes she doesn’t have enough cash. She only has five dollars and twenty-nine cents.

“Uh...I’m so sorry,” she blathers, fumbling around in her pockets, even though she knows she won’t find any cash in them. “Could you...could you run it as a credit card transaction?”

“This is the cash-only lane,” the cashier says in a bored tone. “If you don’t have enough cash, you can move to the credit card lane.”

Normally, Rey would do just that, but the other lane is now piling to the back of the store and Rey is not about to do that.

And she doesn’t have to, because at that moment, a voice that’s uncomfortably familiar says, “What’s going on?”

Rey turns to see Ben Solo looking at her with maddening politeness.

“Go away,” she snaps. 

“What is it?”  he presses. “Do you need money?”

“ _ No _ ,” she says, mortified, but the cashier says, “She’s short two dollars and twenty-three cents.”

“Thanks,” Rey snaps.

“No problem,” Ben says, and to her horror, he fishes a crisp ten dollar bill out of his wallet. Rey starts to protest, but the cashier hands him back his change. The next customer crowds Rey out of the lane.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Rey says, cheeks bright.

“I didn’t,” he agrees. “But it was the nice thing to do.”

Her mouth opens and closes as she tries to think of something to say, some retort that puts him in his place.

“Happy Holidays,” he says with a sardonic smile, giving her a small little bow before sauntering out the store.

Rey hates him.

.

The Christmas Eve party at Snoke’s is everything it always promises to be: elegant, exclusive, and every bit as circle-jerk-y as Ben remembers. 

The living and dining rooms are full of employees lower down on the totem pole, along with their wives and girlfriends (no children, because Snoke can’t tolerate them). This is where Ben leaves Bazine when Snoke summons him to his study, where he’s smoking cigars with Hux and Phasma. Ben accepts a cigar and drops onto the sofa beside Phasma. 

“Our sales are going through the roof,” Snoke says, pleased. “The number of last minute Christmas presents bought during the holiday sale is  _ obscene _ .”

“See, Ben?” Phasma says, puffing her cigar like a pro. “I told you: they’d hate us in the beginning, but we got them in the end.”

“The neighborhood still hates us,” he points out. “Don’t get me wrong, they’re absolutely buying from us, but they’re also protesting, and that protest will go full swing once the holidays are over and everyone’s trying to save their pennies.”

“ _ Exactly _ ,” Hux says. “They’re trying to save their pennies, which they won’t be able to do if they buy local. They’ll  _ have _ to come to us. And we’ll be waiting with open arms and discount prices.”

Ben doesn’t say anything, but Snoke is watching him.

“Your mother’s store is folding, isn’t it?”

Hux and Phasma are watching Ben in interest, but he shrugs. “I wouldn’t know—my mother and I aren’t talking anymore.”

Snoke seems satisfied. 

And that’s what’s important...isn’t it?

.

Rey spends Christmas Day at the Tico house, noshing on food and watching old movies with Rose, Paige, and Finn. Poe had invited her to spend the holidays with his family in Florida, but Rey just wasn’t in the frame of mind to spend Christmas with her boyfriend’s family. That, and part of her is afraid that she’ll be out of a job soon, so she doesn’t want to spend money on a plane ticket. 

As glad as she is that she’s spending Christmas with her friends, it’s just as depressing as she’d told KyloRen it would be. While Rose and Paige miss their parents, Rey and Finn long for a family they’ve never known, and at some point all of them are sniffling and misty-eyed. 

“I hate this stupid holiday,” Rey sniffs. 

“Yeah,” everyone echoes. “Me too.” 

.

Ben spends the first Christmas since his father died alone. Bazine is in Cape Cod with her parents, so it’s just him and a pile of books he’s been meaning to read. Only, it’s hard to read when his eyes keep watering. He keeps thinking about his mother, all alone with memories of Christmases past and the knowledge that her son is putting her out of business. 

Poe Dameron was right: how  _ does _ he sleep at night? 

It isn’t personal, is the thing he’s trying to remember. They didn’t build there with the express purpose of putting his mother out of business. It was a good neighborhood and his mother just happened to be in it. Even if Ben had protested, Snoke would have done it anyway. The opportunity was much, much too good to pass up. It isn’t Ben’s fault. 

Then why does he feel so guilty?

He calls his mother anyway, determined to catch her. When she doesn’t pick up, he calls three more times. 

“Yes?” she finally answers, voice thick.

“Please let me come over,” he begs. “Please let me say sorry.” 

She sighs heavily. “I’m so upset, Ben.”

“I know you are.” He takes a deep breath. “Just...please don’t be alone on Christmas.”

Leia is quiet for a long moment. Finally, she says, “I want to visit your father.”

He drives her to the cemetery, where she takes his arm and lets him help her over the frostbitten ground to his father’s grave. They each leave a rock, adding it to the others that have slowly collected over the years. 

“I miss him,” Leia says softly. “He...he understood me at a time I didn’t think anyone could. He was more than just my husband, he was my dearest friend. I hope someday you’ll be lucky enough to find someone like that.”

And then something strange happens.

Ben says, “I’ve got someone like that.”

That isn’t the strange part.

The strange part is that he doesn’t think of Bazine. He thinks of BookScavenger.

_ I don’t even know her _ .

_ But...I do. _

“Hmm,” Leia says. “Well, mazel tov.” 

They’re quiet for another long moment. 

“I’m not going down without a fight, you know.”

Ben kisses her head. “I know, Mom.”

“I’m going to say ugly things about First Order.”

“As you should.”

She hesitates. “Your presents aren’t wrapped.”

He laughs. “Neither are yours.”

She relaxes. “Well, let’s exchange them anyway, what do you say?”

Ben smiles down at her. “I say that’s a great idea.”

  
  



	6. Chapter 6

**_Hello, BookScavenger._ **

**_I had a feeling you’d be on now._ **

_ Wow, I was just writing an email to you! _

_ That’s bizarre.  _

_ I’ve never instant messaged before.  _

**_I haven’t either._ **

**_We can figure it out together?_ **

_ Sounds like a plan.  _

**_How was your Christmas?_ **

_ Depressing. As usual. How was yours? _

**_Also depressing._ **

**_Well, at first._ **

**_My mom and I went to visit my dad’s grave._ **

_ I’m so sorry. _

**_It’s okay. It felt like being together. And then we exchanged presents and got drunk._ **

_ You drink with your mum? _

**_I know, that makes me lame, doesn’t it?_ **

_ No! I think it’s cool. _

**_That’s kind of you to say. It’s lame and I know it, but that’s okay._ **

_ Any plans for New Year’s? _

**_A party I don’t want to go to. You?_ **

_ I like going to Times Square to watch the ball drop. _

**_You_ ** **_like_ ** **_joining all those tourists?_ **

_ It’s fun! There’s a spirit of camaraderie.  _

**_I suppose that’s true._ **

_ Anyway it’s the last fun thing I get to do before everything goes to shit.  _

**_Oh yeah?_ **

**_Why’s that?_ **

_ I think I’m about to lose my job. _

**_Really?_ **

_ Yeah. _

**_Why?_ **

_ Budget cuts. _

**_That’s awful._ **

**_I’m so sorry._ **

_ It’s okay.  _

_ I mean, it isn’t okay, but it will have to be. _

**_You sound resigned._ **

_ I am. _

**_You should go to the mattresses._ **

_ I should...what now? _

**_Go to the mattresses. You know, like in The Godfather. It means to go to war._ **

_ What is it with men and that movie? _

**_The Godfather is the I Ching._ **

**_The Godfather is the sum of all wisdom._ **

**_The Godfather is the answer to any question._ **

**_What should I pack for my summer vacation? “Leave the gun, take the cannoli.”_ **

**_What day of the week is it? “Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Wednesday.”_ **

**_And the answer to the question you did not ask me is: go to the mattresses._ **

**_You’re at war._ **

**_It’s not personal, it’s business. Recite that to yourself every time you can feel yourself losing your nerve._ **

**_I know you worry about being brave. Don’t. This is your chance. Fight. Fight to the death._ **

  
  



	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to go ahead and say that, whatever your reactions to this chapter, I absolutely do NOT want to see any hate for Poe and/or Bazine in your reviews. You are welcome to feel the way you feel but I am so tired of seeing hate for their characters just because they're Ben and Rey's S/Os. Please no more.

Rey brings it up to Poe over dinner. “I think I should go to the mattresses.”

“Okay,” he says, not looking deterred by her random quoting of  _ The Godfather _ . 

She puts down her fork. “I want to take advantage of our relationship and ask you to write about Alderaan Books.”

_ That _ catches his interest. “Really?”

“Yes.” She takes a deep breath. “I know it’s unethical and you might not want to do it—“

“I would  _ love _ to do it!” he exclaims. “Rey, I’ve been wanting to write about it for a while now but I didn’t want to throw you into the spotlight. But if it’s what you and Leia want…”

“It’s what I want,” she says quickly. “And I’ve already talked to Leia and it’s what she wants, too.”

Poe actually gets up to come around the table and kiss her. “I cannot  _ wait _ !”

Rey can’t either. 

.

“Have you seen this?” Phasma asks, brandishing  _ The Observer _ at Ben. Poe Dameron’s smug face looks back at Ben.

“No?”

“He mentions Herodotus.  _ Herodotus _ ,” she sneers. “And he calls us a cold cash cow and compares Alderaan to a temple of learning. Jesus  _ Christ _ .” She tosses the paper onto the table.

“Well, we  _ are _ a cold cash cow,” he points out. “Though calling a children’s bookstore a temple of learning is going a bit far. As is the reference to Herodotus.”

“These people are pathetic,” she says, flopping into the seat across from him. 

“They’re just fighting for what they love.”

Phasma fixes him with a look. “Ben...I know your mother runs that store, but…”

“But what?” 

She shakes her head. “Don’t go getting sentimental  _ now _ .”

He shrugs, smiling bitterly. “It’s hard not to. They’re going out of business and she’s not going down without a fight. I have to watch my business crush my mother.” 

“Well, first of all, it’s not  _ your _ business, it’s  _ Snoke’s _ business,” Phasma says. “You just happen to work for him. And second, your mother can be crushed, or she can bow out. She’s choosing to be crushed.”

For some reason, that makes Ben feel sick. He gets up, shrugging into his coat.

“What?”

“Nothing, I just...need to get out of this store for a while.” He walks out the doors, still looping his scarf around his neck. He runs right into a group of protestors. 

“One, two, three four, we don’t want your superstore!” they’re chanting. “Five, six, seven, eight, go away and close the gate!”

Ben slips past them and, without thinking about it, heads in the direction of his mother’s store. He stops short, however, when he sees the Channel 2 news van parked outside. He shakes his head, moving on down the street. 

He’ll have to make this right. Somehow or other.

.

The next few weeks are exhausting. Rey and Leia talk to dozens of reporters representing all mediums--newspapers, magazines, television, radio. Most of them are fluff pieces about supporting local businesses. Some of them get real really fast.

“Is it true your son works for First Order, and in fact oversaw the construction of the West Side location?” one reporter asks Leia. 

How Leia manages to maintain her composure is a mystery to Rey. But she does, smiling serenely. “It’s not personal, it’s business.”

Rey’s head whips to look at Leia.  _ It’s not personal, it’s business _ is  _ exactly _ what KyloRen had said to her. Is this some well-known saying she’s never heard before? Or is it merely a sign that this is the direction in which she needs to travel? 

Poe gets some publicity as well, all centered around his article. It isn’t a problem for Rey, up until he comes home from an interview with a local talk show host. 

“I’m in love,” he announces. 

Rey stares at him. “Oh. I didn’t think we were there yet--”

He shakes his head. “No. I...you’re wonderful, really, but I...I’m in love with Jessika.”

“Jessika?”

“Jessika,” he agrees. “When we were talking today...I felt this...this  _ spark _ . I’ve never had a connection like that with another person before.”

Rey, watching the interview later with a bottle of wine, agrees--there is definitely a spark. The two have aggressive eye sex throughout most of the interview, and afterwards, Poe asks her out before he realizes the cameras are still rolling. 

“What a jerk,” Rose huffs at the store. “He seemed so nice!”

“He was. Is,” Rey corrects. 

“Rey, he left you for a talk show host he  _ just _ met!” 

Rey shrugs. “When you find true love, you have to just...go for it.”

“You think it’s true love?” Rose asks in disbelief.

Rey shrugs  again. “Might be. Might not be. Who knows?”

“You’re being very cavalier about this,” Finn says from where he’s been eavesdropping none-too-subtly. “I mean, he just...left you. Like that.”

“And I don’t want to be with someone who’d rather be with someone else.” 

Rose points a finger at her. “This is because of that guy you’ve been talking to online, isn’t it?” 

Rey flushes. “No.”

“It is!” Rose crows triumphantly. “You’re not upset about Poe because you’ve been secretly lusting after this guy the whole time!” 

“I have  _ not _ ,” Rey tries to say, but Rose and Finn clearly don’t believe her. They dance around the shop, crowing about Rey’s mystery man.

“What the  _ hell _ is going on out here?” Leia asks, coming out from the back room. 

“Poe left Rey, but she doesn’t care because she’s in love with her online mystery man,” Rose says. 

“I am not--”

“Oh, well, we all knew that,” Leia says dismissively. 

Rey sighs.

.

Ben gets home that night to find Bazine standing in the middle of the kitchen, giving him that look.

He knows that look.

It’s the look of a woman about to break up with him. 

“Ben,” she says, wringing her perfectly manicured hands. “We need to talk.”

“Uh-oh,” he says. 

She takes a deep breath. “I’ve fallen in love with someone...else.”

“Okay.” He’s a reasonable guy. He’s willing to hear her out. “Who is he?”

She takes a deep breath. “That’s the thing...it isn’t a he.”

Ben’s eyes widen. “Oh. It’s...a woman?”

She nods. “It’s...actually, it’s someone you know...it’s, um, Phasma.”

Ben feels his heart stop for a second. He gropes for a chair, sinking down into it. “I...Phasma?”

She nods, looking equal parts miserable and relieved. “We just...had a connection. I’d never felt anything like it before. I thought I was straight as a pin, but Phasma...she broadened my horizons.” She gets a dreamy sort of smile on her face. Bazine, for the record, has never once looked dreamy before. 

“Have you two…?”

Bazine shakes her head quickly. “No. We decided we’d...we wouldn’t do anything until we told  you. Well. Until I told you. I think Phasma’s waiting to see if you’re going to kill her before she tries to explain.”

And then Ben does something very strange.

He begins to laugh. 

“Ben?” Bazine asks nervously. “Ben, are you...okay?”

“I’m  _ great _ ,” he says, still laughing. 

“You’re freaking me out.”

He throws his hands up in the air. “My girlfriend and my best friend fell in love and I’m happy about it! Really! You two deserve each other!”

“I  genuinely can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic or not.” 

He drops his hands. “I’m not. Seriously, I’m...happy for you. Both of you. You deserve to be with someone you have a connection with.” He means it, too. He realizes now that as much as he liked Bazine, he could never see a future with her. She was just like all his other girlfriends, a pretty face to stand at his side. Their relationship was never substantial, and that had suited them both just fine--and it means that now, he doesn’t feel hurt or upset. He doesn’t feel much of anything, really. 

Bazine takes a seat at the table across from him. “I never didn’t like you,” she assures him.

“I know.” And he does. “We...made sense.”

She nods, relieved. “Exactly.”

“Well hey...mazel tov.”

“Thanks, Ben.” Bazine rests a hand on his. “I hope you find someone. Really, I do.” 

He pats her hand. “I’m sure I will.”

But the cogs are already turning.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next week's updating might be kind of hectic considering it's both Celebration AND the premiere of Game of Thrones season 8! So I'll try my hardest to get the chapter out on its usual Sunday/Monday but no guarantees. Hope to see some of you at Celebration!

_ Dear friend, _

_ I just broke up with my boyfriend. _

_ I guess, technically, he broke up with me. There wasn’t much breaking up, to be honest. He just came home and announced that he was in love with someone else and I just said, “Okay,” and then he packed up his things and left. _

_ I imagine they’re very happy together. They both like to talk and do it for a living, and now they can talk about things all the time. _

_ I bet you didn’t even know I had a boyfriend. I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned him before. I was trying to keep things vague, but I don’t really care anymore. _

_ I’m not upset about it. I really am not. That doesn’t sound genuine when I type it out, but I promise I’m telling the truth. And I think part of it is because of you. I’ve become so used to you. I tell you things I’d never dream of telling another person--not even my boyfriend.  _

_ What is it about you? _

_ Yours, _

_ BookScavenger _

 

**_Dear friend,_ **

**_How ironic that you and your boyfriend broke up when my girlfriend and I just broke up, too, and for nearly the same reason._ **

**_She left me for my coworker, you see. This coworker also happens to be a woman. My girlfriend left me for another woman and honestly, I’m okay with it. They seem much more well suited to each other than we were. I think I liked the idea of her more than the actual person behind that idea. I hope my coworker likes the person more than the idea. I think she does._ **

**_I never told her things, either. She was never a permanent fixture in my life, so I never told her about the things I’ve told you. You, somehow, always did seem like a permanent fixture in my life. You do._ **

**_Yours,_ **

**_KyloRen_ **

 

_ Dear friend, _

_ Do you think this was destined, somehow? That maybe we were supposed to both have our significant others leave us for other people at exactly the same time? Do you even believe in that sort of thing? Fate, destiny, serendipity? _

_ Yours,  _

_ BookScavenger _

 

**_Dear friend,_ **

**_Without a doubt._ **

**_Yours._ **

 

_ Dear friend, _

_ But this is crazy, isn’t it? To feel this way about someone you’ve never even met? I mean, the idea that I could feel more for you, a total stranger, than for my boyfriend...that’s ludicrous.  _

_ Isn’t it? _

_ Yours, _

_ BookScavenger _

 

**_I figured I’d catch you on IM._ **

**_We’re not really strangers. Not now, anyway. Just because we don’t know each other’s names and what we look like doesn’t mean we don’t know each other intimately._ **

**_I know your favorite flowers are daisies because they’re happy. I know your favorite color is blue because it reminds you of water. I know you used to wear your hair a certain way because you hoped your parents would see you in a crowd and recognize you. I know your favorite book is_ ** **Pride and Prejudice** **_, I know you don’t know how to swim, and I know that I am fonder of you than words can say and I know, I_ ** **know** **_, you feel the same about me._ **

_ I can’t remember the last time I felt like this. Maybe I never have. _

_ Should we break our rules and finally meet?  _

**_Yes, yes, a thousand times yes. When and where?_ **

_ Is the West Side too far for you? _

**_The West Side is perfect. Do you know the Around the Corner Coffee Shop?_ **

_ Yes!  _

**_Let’s say Friday at 8?_ **

_ Friday at 8 it is.  _

**_How will I know it’s you?_ **

_ I’ll bring a copy of  _ Pride and Prejudice _ with me. And a rose. Just in case.  _

**_I can’t believe this is finally happening._ **

_ Neither can I!! _

_ I’m really looking forward to meeting you.  _

**_Me too._ **

  
  



	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UUUMMMMMMM CAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT TEASER??????

“You’re going on a date? With  _ him _ ?”

“You don’t have to sound so eager, Rose,” Rey admonishes lightly.

“Yes I do! This is a big deal!” Rose says, following Rey as she shelves books. “You’ve been in love with this guy for  _ ages _ \--”

“I’m not in love with him.”

“Yes you are,” Leia supplies. 

Rey rolls her eyes. “I’m  _ not _ . We just...have feelings for each other.”

“Love,” Leia says. “I know the look in your eye, and if that isn’t love, I don’t know what is.”

Rey blushes. Maybe Leia’s right.

She’ll have to wait until Friday to find out.

.

On Friday night, Ben and Phasma get a light dinner together near the bookstore. She insists on paying for it, which Ben knows is because she feels guilty for the whole girlfriend-stealing thing. 

“Honestly, I’m not upset about it,” he insists. “You two seem happy to be together.”

“But she was your  _ girlfriend _ and I’m your  _ friend and colleague, _ ” Phasma wheedles. “Doesn’t that make you the  _ tiniest _ bit angry?”

“Do you  _ want _ me to be angry?”

“I want you to show some kind of emotion that shows you aren’t a total sociopath.”

Ben takes a deep breath. “Look, the reason I’m not upset is because...I’m meeting someone tonight.”

Phasma’s eyes bug out of her head. “ _ Really _ ? So soon?”

“Well, that’s the thing.” He pauses as the waiter sets down their food. “See, we’ve been talking for a while.”

“ _ Oh _ .” Phasma looks positively ravenous at this information. “How did you meet her? Or him?”

“It’s a her,” he confirms. “We, uh...actually, we met in a chat room.”

“Oh my  _ god _ , you’ve been talking online?” She leans forward. “Have you been having cybersex?”

“No! It’s not like that,” he insists. “We just...we just talk.”

“About what?”

“About...everything.” It feels good, somehow, to tell someone else about this. “I mean, things I’ve never told another living person...she knows me better than I think even you do.”

“What’s her name?”

He hesitates.

“ _ Ben _ .”

“We haven’t exchanged names yet,” he admits. “We wanted to keep it anonymous at first.”

“But you’re meeting tonight?” she presses.

He nods. “We’re meeting tonight.”

“Where?”

“At the Around the Corner Coffee Shop.”

Phasma sips her water. “Not a very romantic first date.”

“It’s not a first date,” he says, and then pauses. “At least...I don’t think it is.” 

Phasma shakes her head. “This woman must either be desperate or horrible.”

“She’s wonderful,” he says defensively. “She’s one of the kindest and most genuine people I’ve ever met.”

“Except you haven’t met yet.”

“Well...no.”

“Can I meet her?”

Ben shakes his head. “Absolutely not.”

“Oh, please--I can vet her for you,” Phasma says. 

“Why, so you can steal her from me too?” 

Phasma winces. “Right.”

“I’m sorry,” he rushes to tell her. “I thought we could just. Make a joke of it. I’m sorry. I promise I don’t hold any ill will.”

“I know. It’ll take getting used to, I suppose.” She leans back in her seat. “Well. Good luck, Ben--you’re going to need it.”

“Thanks, Phas.”

After dinner, he heads in the direction of the coffeeshop. He’d asked for a late time on the off chance things don’t go well--that way, they wouldn’t have to sit through an awkward dinner together.

Not that he thinks their time together will be awkward. He’s sure he’s going to love BookScavenger. He’s sure she’s going to be beautiful inside and out, with a smile that warms his soul. 

When he gets to the coffee shop, he pauses at the door, peering inside and scoping out the crowd. It’s fairly full, as coffee shops usually are on Friday nights, but there are no women sitting by themselves.

A barista moves and that’s when he sees her.

Rey Johnson.

His mother’s employee. 

The one who works at Alderaan Books.

The one who’s been decrying First Order in every medium imaginable.

That Rey Johnson.

And...she’s got a book in her hands.

_ Pride and Prejudice _ .

And sitting on the table…

...is a red rose. 

Surely,  _ surely _ , this is a mistake.

But no, he thinks, heart sinking as he takes her in. It isn’t. She’s the only woman in the coffee shop with the two incredibly distinctive markers she’d told him she’d have. She’s alone. And she works in a bookstore.

_ BookScavenger. _

Her username makes so much sense now. 

And this whole time, they’ve been talking

He feels like such a moron. How could he not have known? The references to losing her job--she meant the shop going out of business. 

He could leave now. He could. He could just walk away and never talk to her again. It would  be that simple. She would be upset, of course, and she would message him and scream at him via email and he would never have to answer. 

But he would never do that to her. Not to BookScavenger, even if she is Rey Johnson. He can’t just leave the woman with whom he’s practically in love by herself in that coffee shop, staring at the clock with growing desperation. 

And who knows. Maybe Rey will think it’s charming. Maybe she’ll have known all along.

He squares his shoulders and enters the coffee shop.

He can feel Rey’s eyes on him. He pretends to browse the menu, then slowly lets his gaze wander through the shop until it falls on her. She’s hiding behind her book. Okay. Not a great sign. But Ben is determined, and he saunters over to her.

“Rey Johnson,” he says with a small smirk. “Fancy meeting you here.”

“Hello,” she says miserably. Again, not a great sign. Maybe he should leave.

“Do you mind if I join you?” Or maybe not.

“Yes, I do mind,” she says. “I’m expecting someone.”

Ben thinks of saying something stupid to show that it’s him, but he doesn’t. Instead, he leans over as obnoxiously as possible and reads the title of her book as if he didn’t know what she was reading. 

“ _ Pride and Prejudice _ , huh? I bet that’s your favorite book. I bet you just love that Mr. Darcy and your bleeding heart beats wildly at the thought of him deigning to love someone like Elizabeth Bennet.”  _ Why is he doing this why is he acting like a jerk why oh why?! _

The barista comes over with a drink for Rey, and Ben takes a seat across from her to get out of the other man’s way. Rey gapes at him.

“Anything for you?” the barista asks.

“No, he’s not staying,” Rey tries to say, but Ben is already ordering the house roast. “You’re not staying,” she says again as soon as the barista leaves.

“I’ll just stay here until your friend gets here,” he decides. 

“I don’t want you to stay here,” she says stubbornly. “You’re a horrible person. Leia may have forgiven you but I never will.”

Ben raises his eyebrows, swallowing down the sinking disappointment in his gut. “That’s a bit melodramatic, don’t you think?”

“No,” she says bluntly. “You’re the reason I’m about to lose my job and Leia’s about to lose the one thing that really matters to her.”

_ The one thing _ , he hears with a pang.  _ She thinks I don’t matter to my mother. Maybe I don’t. _

“That was never my intention,” he says. “I care about my mother very much. The lack of business is an unfortunate side effect of my boss’s decision, not mine.”

“You were every bit as complicit in it as he was,” she hisses. 

Ben leans back in his chair, trying to ignore the stabbing guilt he feels. “If it makes you feel better to think that, all right. But I think you’d discover a lot of things if you really knew me.”

“If I really knew you, I know what I’d find,” she says. “Instead of a brain, a cash register, instead of a heart, a bottom line.” 

It hurts Ben more than he’d care to admit. “Ouch,” he mumbles, staring down at the coffee the barista just delivered to him. 

“Now please leave,” Rey says.

“Why? So you can keep sitting here alone, waiting for a man who’s never going to show up?”

She looks hurt, which wasn’t his intention, but before he can apologize she says, “Well, if he isn’t here, he has a good reason for it.”

“And will you be mean to him, too?” he asks.

“No I will not,” she says righteously. “Because the man who is coming here tonight is kind and funny and--”

“Not here,” Ben finishes, because he isn’t able to stop himself and he doesn’t know why. Maybe it’s because he actually tried to make this work and she...doesn’t seem to want to. Which isn’t her fault, because she doesn’t know the truth, but it still hurts him. 

“He’s coming,” she insists. “There isn’t a cruel or careless bone in his body. Not that I would expect you to understand that, you with your multimillion dollar  _ theme park _ of a bookstore. You’ve deluded yourself into thinking that you’re some sort of benefactor delivering books to the masses, but no one will ever remember you, Ben Solo. And maybe no one will remember me, either, but they’ll remember your mother. They think she’s kind and wonderful and they think her store is something special. You? Are nothing but a suit.” She takes a deep breath. “Now please, I beg you...leave.” 

Ben doesn’t know what to say. It’s probably best, he decides, if he doesn’t say anything at all. He leaves a few dollars on the table and heads out of the coffeeshop. 

That went  _ horribly _ . Why wasn’t he able to stop himself? Why had he been so nasty to her? How is he going to explain this, as Ben Solo or KyloRen? 

.

Rey waits for two hours before giving up. She’d been willing to allow time for being stuck in traffic or held up at a meeting, but the coffee shop closed at ten so she had to leave. By the time that had happened, she’d realized he was never going to show up. 

She checks her email when she gets home, but there’s nothing from him. No apology, no explanation, no “gotcha”. 

Nothing. 

.

Ben gets brunch with Phasma and Bazine the next morning. It’s last minute, but he needs womanly advice.

“Oh god,” Bazine says, pressing a manicured hand to her heart. “This is like a romantic comedy.”

“Isn’t it!” Phasma crows. “Who should play Ben?”

“Tom Hanks,” Bazine says at once. “And ooh, Meg Ryan can be Rey!”

Both women burst into hearty laughter. Ben is not amused. 

“I don’t know what to say to her,” he says, trying to reign in the conversation. “Or if I should say anything at all.”

“Oh, you have to say something,” Phasma says, her laughter ending at once. 

Bazine nods. “Yeah, Ben, if you don’t say anything, then KyloRen is just as big of an asshole as she thinks Ben Solo is.”

He leans back in his chair, sighing. “So what do I say?”

“Don’t tell her the truth,” Bazine says. “Not yet, anyway. She’s still upset.”

Phasma nods. “Tell her you were afraid.”

“Tell her you’re so sorry.”

“Tell her you were afraid and you’re so sorry but it isn’t an excuse.”

“Ooh, I like that.”

“And when do I tell her the truth?” he asks. “When do I tell her that Ben Solo and KyloRen are one in the same?”

They glance at each other.

“I would maybe wait on that,” Phasma says delicately. 

“Like, a few months. At least,” Bazine adds. 

“Won’t that make it worse?” 

“Ben, you sell books,” Phasma says, accepting her second mimosa from the server. “Don’t you know what Shakespeare says about scorned women?”

“Hell hath no fury,” he mutters. “Right.”

Somehow, things just got a lot more complicated.

.

“So?” Rose asks Rey as soon as she walks into the shop.  “How was it?!”

“He never showed,” Rey says tightly.

Leia leans out of her office. “He stood you up?”

“Mm-hmm,” Rey says.

“Something must have happened to him,” Rose says, giving Leia a Look. “He didn’t seem like that type of guy.”

“Maybe it’s my face,” Rey sighs. “Maybe he did come, and then he took one look at me and left.”

“That didn’t happen,” Leia says.

“Right,” says Rose, “there must have been...an accident on the subway or something.”

“I don’t think so,” Rey says, but Leia’s nodding.

“There’s no phone on the subway, no way for him to call and say he’d be late. And then by the time you left it was too late to reach you.”

“But then why didn’t he message me when he got home?”

Rose and Leia are quiet as they consider this.

“He had a car accident,” Rose says finally.

“Cab drivers are maniacs,” Leia agrees.

Finn comes in the shop just then. “What’s going on?”

“Rey’s date never showed,” Rose explains.

“He stood you up?”

“He was hit by a cab,” Leia says.

“He  _ what _ ?”

“We’re speculating,” Rey says. “If he was hit by a cab, then he could be in the hospital.”

“He could be unconscious,” Rose says. 

Finn’s  eyes go wide. “Oh my god.” He reaches into his messenger bag, pulling out the newspaper. “You guys.”  He unfurls the paper on the counter. The three women lean in to read the headline:  _ Cops Nab Rooftop Killer _ . 

Rey frowns. “What does this have to do with my date?”

“What if he’s the Rooftop Killer?” Finn poses. 

“ _ What _ ?” 

“It could be,” Leia says quietly. 

“He was nabbed two blocks from the cafe,” Finn says. “And there’s no picture.” 

“That explains it,” Rose breathes. “He didn’t come because he was getting arrested, and then he went to jail so he couldn’t call or email you.”

“He could’ve called,” Leia says. “But he saved his one call for his lawyer. Probably.”

“So really, it’s a good thing,” says Finn. “You could’ve been his next victim.”

“You could be dead,” Rose supplies. 

“He couldn’t be  the Rooftop Killer,” Rey says. 

“Didn’t you once think Poe was the Unabomber?”

Rey decides not to answer that. 

  
  



	10. Chapter 10

_ I waited for you at the coffee shop last night. You never showed up...but you already know that. _

_ I wish I knew why. You don’t seem like the kind of person who would do something like that, but...I just don’t know.  _

_ BookScavenger _

 

**_I thought about telling you I was stuck in a meeting I couldn’t get out of. I thought about telling you I was trapped on the thirty-eighth floor of a building when the electricity went out and I couldn’t get out. But none of that is true._ **

**_I can’t tell you what really happened, but I can tell you that I have never been sorrier. I hope you can find it in you to forgive me. Maybe not now, maybe not tomorrow, but...someday._ **

**_Someday I’ll explain why I couldn’t be there. Meanwhile, I’m still here. I hope you still feel that you can talk to me, though I understand if that trust has been violated for you._ **

**_Yours,_ **

**_KyloRen_ **

 

_ I want to be angry with you. I want to be furious. I want to eloquently tell you in no uncertain terms how foolish you made me feel that night. _

_ But...I trust you, stupid decision though it may be...and I know that if you say you can’t tell me what happened, you mean it.  _

_ I read that George Bernard Shaw and Mrs. Patrick Campbell were madly in love but would not consummate their relationship--instead, they exchanged passionate letters. Maybe a relationship via letter, electronic or not, is just as good as one in real life. _

_ I’m still sore. But I care for you too much to stay angry for long. _

_ Yours, _

_ BookScavenger _

 

**_Dear, dearest friend,_ **

**_You have every right to be angry with me. My behavior was inexcusable. I lie awake at night thinking about it. About you. And hating myself for not being able to change the situation._ **

**_Yours,_ **

**_KyloRen_ **

 

_ I think I’ve realized part of why I’m so upset about that night. _

_ While I was waiting for you, a man I loathe, a man who I found morally reprehensible, sat in the chair that was supposed to be yours and wouldn’t leave me alone. I had to say nasty things to make him leave, and afterward I felt sick. I’m never nasty with people. There’s so much nastiness in the world and I don’t want to make it worse, but I couldn’t see any other way of making him leave. In some ways, I feel that you didn’t come because of my nastiness. Maybe that’s silly, but it’s a thought that’s occurred to me once or twice.  _

_ BookScavenger _

 

**_Dear friend,_ **

**_I think you’re too hard on yourself. Sometimes you have to be nasty to people to make them leave you alone and that doesn’t make you a bad person. I think you make the world a brighter place, not a nastier one. I wish you could see yourself as I see you._ **

**_Yours,_ **

**_KyloRen_ **

 

_ Dear friend, _

_ It feels strange, to call you my friend after all that’s happened.  _

_ The store where I work is going to close. I don’t think I ever told you where I worked, but as meeting in person doesn’t seem to be on your radar anymore, I don’t see why I can’t tell you. _

_ We’re losing business to a bigger store that just opened up around the corner. My boss is holding out for a while, just in case, but it’s pretty clear that people are more interested in a big corporate entity than in a small local store. I shouldn’t complain too much--that’s their prerogative. But it does mean that I’ll be out of a job soon.  _

_ Sometimes I think about it and I get so depressed that I start crying. It doesn’t seem fair that my boss could put her whole life into this shop and lose it. It doesn’t seem fair that I had the perfect job and now it’s being taken from me. It doesn’t seem fair that people would choose a big corporate store over a small local one, but that’s life, I suppose. It isn’t fair.  _

_ I’m so heartbroken right now.  _

_ Yours, _

_ BookScavenger _

 

**_Dear friend,_ **

**_I am so sorry to hear about your store. Life isn’t fair, but it should be. Especially for you._ **

**_There are other stores (similar to yours, I’d imagine) and other jobs. Maybe this is the beginning of a new leaf. Maybe this is the excuse you needed to spread your wings and try something new. Or maybe things will work out and the store won’t have to close at all._ **

**_All I can really say is, chin up. You are stronger than you know._ **

**_Yours, now and always,_ **

**_KyloRen_ **

  
  



	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is where it really starts veering from the movie; I was never satisfied with the way Tom Hanks drove Meg Ryan out of business and it was just kind of accepted, so this is my attempt at mending that.

Ben walks into Snoke’s office on Monday morning.

“I’m quitting.”

Snoke stares at him. “You’re  _ quitting _ ?”

“Yes.” Ben steels himself. “I can’t work for this company anymore.”

“And why not?” Snoke barks.

“The reasons don’t matter. Suffice it to say that I cannot in good conscience work for First Order anymore.”

Snoke leans back in his chair. “Is this because of your mother’s store?” When Ben doesn’t answer, the older man sneers. “I had a feeling. You’re as sentimental as she is.” He leans forward again. “Mark me, Ben--you’re nothing without the First Order name. Everything you have was given to you by  _ me _ , and I can take it all away.”

“You can’t,” Ben says. “Because I’m giving it back. I don’t need anything from you. Not anymore.” 

“Don’t be impertinent,” Snoke hisses. “What are you planning to do? Move to the country with your mother and run a used bookstore? That’s all you’re going to be good for if you walk away now. What is it, Ben? Are you feeling underappreciated? Have I not praised you enough for establishing the West Side location?”

“Your praise has been excessive,” Ben says. “Which is part of why I have to leave.”

“Come now, there’s no need to act like a rebellious teenager.” Snoke considers him. “What is it, Ben? You want a raise? More responsibility?”

“I don’t want to work for you anymore. That’s all.” 

“You can’t mean--”

“I do. And we’re finished here. Goodbye.” 

And with that, Ben turns and leaves the room. Snoke’s shouts carry all the way to the elevator.

Ben has never felt better.

.

Rey has never felt worse.

That’s an exaggeration, probably, but she has a cold and it’s the kind that makes you feel so tired but also makes it impossible to sleep so all you can really do is lie around feeling miserable.

She’s doing just that when the buzzer goes off. Groaning, she heaves herself to her feet and presses the button. “Who is it?”

There’s a long pause before she gets the answer, “It’s Ben Solo.”

“What are you doing here?” she demands, wondering if he wants to torment her more after that disastrous night in the coffee shop a couple weeks ago. 

“Uh...may I please come up?”

“No,” she says at once. “I’m sick, and I think it’s contagious, and I don’t like you anyway, so I’m not going to buzz you up. Um, goodbye.” She winces as she limps back to the couch. She’s only just made it when there’s a knock on the door. She frowns. Surely...surely not…

But it’s him. Standing in her doorway. Looking much too nice in his coat and suit. 

Meanwhile, she’s wearing old pajamas with frayed cuffs and holes along the elastic waistband, and there are tissues and half-empty mugs everywhere. 

“What are you doing here?” she demands.

He holds up a bouquet of flowers. Specifically, daisies.

Daisies are her favorite flower.

“I came to apologize,” he says. “For that night at the coffee shop. I was rude and antagonistic.”

She blinks at him. “Oh.” She wasn’t expecting that. “Well...thank you.”

He waves the flowers. “Is there a vase or something I could put these in?”

“Oh, um, yes…” She goes to the kitchen and finds the vase above the refrigerator, filling it with water in the sink. “But I still haven’t forgiven you for putting us out of business.”

“I haven’t forgiven myself for it, either,” he says. 

She rolls her eyes. “Yeah, right.”

“I haven’t,” he insists. “Which is why I quit.”

Rey stares at him. “You...quit?” 

He nods. “Yup. This morning.”

Rey keeps staring. Surely...surely he’s not  _ serious _ . “Because of your mother?”

“Because of my mother,” he agrees. “And because of you.”

“Because of  _ me _ ?” She stares harder. “Why on earth does my opinion matter to you?”

“Because I think very highly of you,” he says. “And you hate me so much that I thought...if this kind and wonderful person could have so much hatred for me, then I’m truly reprehensible.”

Rey winces a little as she brings the vase to the table. She  _ had _ been harsh with him. “I don’t hate you.”

“But you’ll never forgive me,” he points out, unwrapping the flowers and putting them in the vase.

She doesn’t say anything. 

“Can I ask you something?” he continues.

She nods. “Yes.”

“That guy at the coffee shop--what happened with him?”

She closes her eyes. “He never showed.”

“But you’re crazy about him?”

She nods miserably. “Yes.” 

“Did you ask him why?”

“I did, but…” She opens her eyes, already dreading his reaction. “See, we...we only know each other through...um...online.”

Ben’s eyes light up. “ _ Oh _ , I  _ see _ .”

“Please don’t make fun of me,”  she begs. “I know it’s silly, but--”

“I would never make fun of you,” he says in a solemn sort of voice. 

Rey swallows. “Thank you for the daisies.”

He nods, taking his cue to leave. “Take care.”

“I will,” she whispers, watching him walk out the door.

She has no idea what just happened.

.

Ben gets the call late in the morning. He’s in bed, trying to enjoy his new unemployment rather than worry about the consequences of his actions, when the phone rings insistently. 

“Hello?”

“Ben, where the hell are you?” It’s Phasma, and she sounds frantic. He hadn’t told her he’d quit--he assumed Snoke would do that.

“I’m at home.” 

“Ben, you need to get here--it’ll be all over the news, his maid found him, no one’s sure what caused it--”

“Whoa, whoa,  _ what _ ?” he asks, sitting up. “Slow down and start over.”

He hears Phasma take a deep breath. “Snoke’s dead.”

Ben nearly drops the phone. “He’s  _ dead _ ?”

“Of a heart attack. That’s what they think, anyway. His maid found him this morning. He was in his study.”

Ben runs a hand through his hair. “Holy shit. I...I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

He thinks about it the whole time he’s in the shower.  _ Snoke is dead _ . The man who took Ben under his wing, who showed him the bookselling business in a way he’d never seen it before, the man who gave him a reputation and a career and never let him forget it...dead. 

He’d been healthy, hadn’t he? He had to wear orthopaedic shoes, but who didn’t after a certain age? To have a heart attack…

Ben thinks, with niggling guilt, that perhaps he’s the one responsible for such an untimely death. That Snoke had taken his leaving so hard that he’d worked himself into a heart attack.

_ Even dead, he’s guilting me _ , Ben thinks with amazement. 

He dresses and then heads over to the office. Hux and Phasma are already there, pale and grim. 

“Why weren’t you at the office?” Hux asks tightly.

Ben stares at him. “Snoke didn’t tell you?”

“Tell me  _ what _ ?”

“Calm down,” Phasma says. “He didn’t tell us you had the day off, but it’s...it’s all right.” She swallows. “They’ve confirmed it was a heart attack. From stress, they think. Um, that’s all we really know.” 

Ben shakes his head. “I can’t believe he’s gone.”

“Neither can I.” 

Hux shifts impatiently. “In the meantime, we have to establish who will run the company.”

Ben and Phasma stare at him. 

“Snoke just  _ died _ ,” Phasma says in a thick sort of voice. “And you want to know who’s running the company?”

“Yes,” Hux says firmly. “Someone has to do it.”

“The board will elect a new CEO,” Ben says--though at this point, Hux can  _ have _ the damn position for all he cares. “After an appropriate period of mourning, I’d imagine.”

“I don’t--”

“I’m going home,” Ben says. “I don’t care what you do in the meantime. Call me if you need me.”

Except, Ben doesn’t go home, he goes to his mother’s bookstore, where the other two employees give him dirty looks. He ignores them, going straight to his mother. “I need to talk to you.”

She sighs. “Ben, I’m in the middle of a closing sale thanks to  _ your _ boss--”

“He’s dead.”

Leia is clearly taken aback.  She stares at him, then nods slowly. “Meet me in the back office.”

He does, waiting antsily until she finally leaves the counter and closes the door behind her.  

“Snoke is  _ dead _ ?”

Ben nods. “He had a heart attack  last night. His maid found him this morning.”

Leia sucks in a breath. “Are you...okay?”

“I think so.” He sits in a chair. “It hasn’t really sunk in yet.” 

She nods. “That makes sense.” She hesitates before rubbing his back. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“He wasn’t a good person,” he says. “I know that. I...I quit yesterday.”

Leia moves around to face him. “You  _ quit _ ?”

He nods. “Mom, I couldn’t forgive myself for working for the company that’s putting you out of  business. I kept trying to justify it to myself, but I couldn’t. It wasn’t right. So yesterday I walked into Snoke’s office and told him I was quitting.”

Leia whistles. “So you don’t work there anymore?”

“Well...I don’t know,” he admits. “He didn’t tell anyone else, and neither did I. Everyone else thinks I still work there.” 

Leia’s lips twitch. “Oy gevalt. What are you going to do?” 

“I’m going to wait it out,” he decides. “If they make Hux CEO, then I’m out for sure. But if they give it to Phasma, I might stick  around.” 

“And what if they give it to you?” she presses.

Ben blinks.  He hadn’t considered that. “I don’t think they will.”

“Why not? Snoke always liked you. Maybe he left the company to you.”

Ben actually laughs. “Yeah, right.”

“He could have. Or the board could decide you’re their choice for the CEO.” She shrugs. “You never know, sweetheart.”

“Yeah,” he cedes. “Maybe. But I doubt it.”

.

Rey is sitting in a cafe and reading when someone raps on the window in front of her. She looks up and sees none other than Ben Solo. He makes a gesture as if to ask if he can come in; she looks at the empty seat beside her and nods.

“I see you’re feeling better,” he notes after he’s ordered.

“I am,” she cedes. “And I see you’re still working for First Order.”

He winces. “Things got a little complicated after Snoke died.”

Now it’s her turn to wince. “I wasn’t trying to accuse you, I was just...asking...accusatorily.”

“It’s okay.” He gives her a small smile. “I told you one thing and did another.”

She lays a hand on his arm, struck by how firm it is. “Are you okay?”

“Yes.” He shrugs out of his coat. “Really. We...weren’t as close as people thought.”

“I see.” 

Silence falls over them, but it isn’t the uncomfortable kind. It’s warm and companionable, just two people existing beside one another. 

After a moment, Ben clears his throat. “So I’ve been thinking about your mystery man.”

“Oh yeah?” she asks, bemused. With everything going on in his life, Ben Solo is thinking about her?

He nods. “I think he’s married.”

Her mouth falls open, but she smiles when she sees the mischievous twinkle in his eyes. “No he’s not.”

“Has he told you?” he counters playfully. 

“He told me he broke up with his girlfriend a few weeks ago,” she offers. “Or, she broke up with him.”

“What if she broke up with him because he’s married?”

“Oh my god, stop,” she says, laughing nonetheless. “He’s not married!” 

“But how do you  _ know _ ?” he presses. “Have you asked him, ‘Are you married?’”

“No, and I’m not going to,” she lies, because...well, he does have a point.

.

Snoke’s funeral is a lavish affair. During the reception, Ben, Hux, and Phasma all go with Snoke’s attorney to the study (the same study, Ben notes with apprehension, where Snoke died) to hear his last will and testament. 

Most of it is related to First Order, so much so that Ben zones out until he hears his name mentioned.

“‘To Ben Solo, who is like the son I never had, I leave First Order Books. I believe he is more than capable of running the corporation. To him I also leave half of my estate.’”

It takes a moment for the fuzz to clear from Ben’s brain and for what he just heard to sink in.

“ _ Half of his estate _ ?!” Hux is practically frothing at the mouth. “He isn’t even his real son!”

“The parameters of the will are clear, Mr. Hux,” the attorney says in a bored sort of tone. 

“But surely he can’t leave him the  _ entire _ company!” Hux howls.

“He can, and he did.” 

Ben can hardly believe it. “Doesn’t the board have to approve that?”

“It would appear that they already did.” Finally, a twinkle appears in the attorney’s eye. “Congratulations, Mr. Solo. I realize this news comes at a hard time, but Mr. Snoke had every confidence in you.”

“This is  _ unfair _ !”

Ben turns to Hux. “You’re fired,” he says in a detached sort of voice. 

Hux turns purple. “You can’t fire me!”

“He can,” Phasma says, uncrossing her legs and looking ready to face off with Hux. “And he just did.”

Hux gapes at them for a long moment. Then he storms out of the office.

“He’ll be back,” Phasma mutters. 

“That’s why we have building security.”

Phasma actually smiles. “CEO of the First Order. What’s the first thing you’re going to do?”

Ben glances out the window and to the West Side. “You’ll think I’m crazy.”

.

Leia goes very quiet when she opens the mail. She just stands there for a long time, staring.

“Leia?” Rey finally asks in a cautious tone. “What is it?”

There aren’t any customers, so the three of them crowd around the owner. She’s wiping tears from her eyes as she shows them.

It’s a check from First Order Books for two million dollars. 

It’s signed by Ben Solo.

Leia starts to sob. This check is enough to save the store, to keep them in business for a while longer. It’s more than five times what they make in book sales in a year--if they supplement it with actual book sales, they could stay in business for a couple more years. 

“Charity?” Finn asks dubiously.

Leia shakes her head. “An apology. A very, very expensive apology.” She takes a deep breath. “Well. Looks like you three have jobs again. That is, if you haven’t found new ones already.”

Rose bursts into tears, hugging the others. They all end up in a tight group hug, sobbing and sniffling with happiness. 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short chapter, but we're so close to the end!!

_ Dear friend, _

_ I know this may sound ridiculous, but I have to ask: _

_ Are you married? _

_ I realized that you’d never told me before. I know you had a girlfriend who left you for your coworker, but I didn’t know if you were actually married to another woman altogether. Someone said something the other day and now I keep wondering. _

_ Sorry if this is rude--I just have to know before we continue this. _

_ Yours, _

_ BookScavenger _

 

**_Dear friend,_ **

**_I’m so sorry for the late reply--things have gotten hectic at my new job._ **

**_No, I’m not married, but I don’t blame you for asking. You’re right--I hadn’t ever said anything about it._ **

**_Are you?  I take it from your question that you’re not, but as long as we’re clearing things up._ **

**_Yours,_ **

**_KyloRen_ **

 

_ Dear friend, _

_ No, I’m not married.  _

_ Did you know that John and Abigail Adams wrote letters to each other and called one another “my dearest friend”? I think it’s lovely. That they were husband and wife and also dearest friends. I think all married couples should be dearest friends. If you’re going to spend the rest of your life with someone, shouldn’t they be your friend? _

_ Yours, _

_ BookScavenger _

 

**_Dear friend,_ **

**_I’ve never thought about it that way before. I always felt like spouses and friends were separate categories. But you’re right--your spouse should be your dearest friend. Maybe all couples, married or not, should be friends, and when they become your dearest friend, that’s when you know it’s time to get married._ **

**_Yours,_ **

**_KyloRen_ **

 

_ Dear friend, _

_ But what if you start out as dearest friends and then become a couple? Do you get married right away? _

_ Yours, _

_ BookScavenger _

 

**_Dear friend,_ **

**_If you are dearest friends who become a couple, you must absolutely get married right away. I would, anyway. As soon as I realized that this person was my favorite person, I’d want to spend the rest of my life with them right away. I’d want to vow to stay with them ‘til death do us part before the rest of my life begins._ **

**_Yours,_ **

**_KyloRen_ **

 

_ Dear friend, _

_ That’s a beautiful sentiment. _

_ Forgive me for pressing, but--do you think we should try to meet again? I know it hasn’t been that long since our last attempt, but...perhaps we could try it.  _

_ Yours, _

_ BookScavenger _

 

**_Dear friend,_ **

**_We will meet someday. Soon. Right now is not a good time, partly for the reasons I couldn’t meet you before. I know this doesn’t sound like a very good excuse. I promise that when I’m ready to meet without abandoning you again, I will ask you if you’re still willing._ **

**_Soon, BookScavenger. Soon._ **

**_Yours,_ **

**_KyloRen_ **


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are--the end!! 
> 
> Thank you guys so much for coming with me on this journey. You've Got Mail is one of my favorite movies of all time and this fic has been the most self-indulgent drivel, and yet, so many of you have been reading and leaving the nicest reviews anyway! It means more to me than I can say <3
> 
> And now, enjoy.

“Well, he’s not married.”

Ben looks up and grins to see Rey standing over him, shopping bag in hand. He gestures for her to take the seat across from him, which she does with a smile. “Your mystery man?”

She nods. “That’s right. He’s not married. He told me so.”

“Does he want to meet?”

Her face falls a little bit, and Ben feels a rush of satisfaction. “No. He said we will  _ someday _ , but he didn’t say when. Just. Soon.”

“Soon,” Ben echoes. “Sounds like a cop-out.”

“It isn’t,” she defends. “If he says soon, he means soon.”

Ben could kiss her for her sureness, for the confidence she has in the other version of himself. “What if he’s really fat?”

“I don’t care,” she says, and he believes it. 

“Okay. What’s his handle?”

“I’m not telling you,” she says. “You’ll find him and try to...shake him down or something.”

“ _ Shake _ him  _ down _ ?” Ben laughs. “I wouldn’t do that.”

“Yeah, well.” 

“Are there any deal breakers with him, though?” he asks in what he hopes is a casual voice.

She considers the question. “Um...no. He’s not married. Oh, well, I guess there is one thing.” She gives him an impish sort of smile. “I could never be with someone who owned a boat.”

“My mother told you about that, didn’t she?” he groans.

Rey laughs. It’s a beautiful sound.

“Well,” he said. “That does it, I guess. We could never be together.”

There’s a flush on Rey’s face. He finds that he likes it. “I guess not.” She bites her lip, something he also finds he likes. “Maybe this isn’t the time to bring this up, but um...I wanted to thank you for what you did. For your mother. I know it’s not really my place to thank you, but--”

“I did it for you, too,” he says.

Rey’s flush is in full force. “You did?”

He nods.

“Why?”

He shrugs. “Because I like you too much to let you go unemployed.”

Rey’s face is a brilliant shade of red. He decides that he loves it.

That he loves her.

.

Over the next couple of weeks, Rey keeps bumping into Ben Solo. At the farmer’s market, at coffee shops and restaurants, even at Leia’s Purim party.

“You know, the entire point of Purim is to drink until you don’t know your friend from your enemy,” he tells her. 

“That’s good,” she tells him. “Because I can’t always figure out what you are.”

She sees a flash of hurt in his eyes and hastens to reassure him, “I used to say I’d never forgive you, but now you’re my friend, and I don’t know if it’s morally bankrupt of me to pretend I never said I’d never forgive you.”

“Oh, I wish you would,” he says with such tenderness it almost makes her want to cry.

She doesn’t cry, but she does drink. A lot. So much that she’s impossibly hungover at Alderaan the next morning. But it’s all right, because Ben shows up, also impossibly hungover, and brings her coffee. A mochaccino with extra cream, just the way she likes.

When she’s out to lunch later, feeling much better after coffee and several Ibuprofen, she runs into Ben again. This time, they’re both ordering from the same deli; they take a seat together, Rey laughing at the absurdity of it all. “We keep bumping into each other,” she says, though part of her wonders how much “bumping” is really involved. It seems too often, too perfect, to be mere coincidence.

But...what? Is Ben intentionally finding her? No, surely not.

...unless…

“Yeah, I know,” he says neutrally. “Hey, do you want to bump into each other on Saturday around lunchtime?”

She smiles. Maybe it’s not coincidence after all. Maybe she doesn’t mind that. “Sure.”

“At that place where I found you reading  _ Harry Potter _ ?”

“Sure,” she says again. 

They smile at each other and dig into their sandwiches. 

.

When he gets home, he sits down in front of his computer. 

**_Dear friend,_ **

**_I think I am finally ready to reveal myself. How about meeting Saturday at 4? There’s a place in Riverside Park at 91st Street where the path curves and there’s a garden. Let me know if you still want to meet._ **

**_Yours,_ **

**_KyloRen_ **

 

He doesn’t have long to wait for a response. 

 

_ Dear friend, _

_ I would love that. I’ll be there. _

_ I suspect you’ll already know how to find me--how will I know you? _

_ Yours, _

_ BookScavenger _

 

**_Dearest friend,_ **

**_I’ll wear a Kylo Ren t-shirt. That way, you can’t miss me._ **

**_Yours,_ **

**_KyloRen_ **

 

.

Rey tells Ben about her meeting with KyloRen when they get lunch on Saturday. She’s glad she’s seeing Ben first--she hopes he can soothe her nerves. Ben, she’s been discovering lately, is a soothing person to be around. She never would have thought that, and it doesn’t line up with some of Leia’s childhood stories about him, but...well, he’s a soothing person. At least around her.

“You’re meeting him  _ today _ ?” Ben asks.

“Today,” she confirms. “In Riverside Park.”

“Riverside Park? That means he’s a West Sider.”

“I know.” She’s thought a lot about this. “I could’ve met him and not known it.”

“You could’ve seen him every day,” he posits.

“I could have,” she agrees, practically vibrating at the thought. 

“He could be anybody. He could be that guy,” Ben says, pointing to a man walking past their window. He looks to be in his fifties, and he’s carrying a bouquet of flowers. “Maybe those flowers are for you.”

“Yeah, maybe,” she says. It’s always possible. But… “But he knows I like daisies.”

Ben’s wearing an expression she can’t read. “He does.”

They spend the rest of lunch speculating about KyloRen, which somehow works in soothing Rey’s nerves. 

It isn’t until later, when Ben is walking her back to her apartment, that he says, “You know, sometimes I wonder...if I hadn’t been with First Order and you hadn’t been with Alderaan, or maybe even if you had, and you and I had just...met, like normal people…”

“Yeah,” she says quietly, because she’s thought about it too. 

“I would’ve asked for your number,” he says, his face earnest. Why, oh why is he telling her this now? Right before she meets KyloRen? Is it because he knows once she meets KyloRen, he’ll never have a chance? Does he want to stop her? Does  _ she _ want him to stop her? “And I wouldn’t have been able to wait twenty four hours before calling you up and saying, ‘How about some coffee or dinner and drinks or a movie...for as long as we both shall live?’”

Her heart is pounding in her chest. She suddenly, irrationally, wishes that he was KyloRen. “Ben,” she says hoarsely.

“And you would never have hated me or been unable to forgive me,” he says softly. “And the only thing we’d fight about would be what movie to rent on a Saturday night.”

“Who fights about that?” she asks, fighting back tears. 

“Well, not us, apparently.” His face is almost...hurt. Raw. Then, quietly, he says, “If only.”

“Ben,” she says again. “I have to go--”

“Before you do,” his eyes are wide. “Let me ask you...how can you forgive this guy for standing you up, but you can’t forgive me?”

“I have to go,” she says, hating herself for saying it. “I have to get ready.”

Ben nods, looking sad. “Yeah, you don’t wanna be late.”

She walks around him, heading up the stairs to her place. When she gets to the top, she turns and sees that Ben is watching her. 

“Ben?”

“Yes?”

She takes a deep breath. “I forgive you.” And then she throws herself inside before she can say anything else. 

She’s jittery the whole half hour it takes to get dressed, exchanging her t-shirt, jacket, and khakis for a spring dress and cardigan. She combs her hair and dabs a little perfume behind her ears the way Leia showed her, and then she heads for Riverside Park. It isn’t a long walk, but it feels that way because she’s so nervous.

Some part of her wonders if she should have kissed Ben. If she should have spent the afternoon with him instead of with KyloRen. Ben, after all, is always there. KyloRen stood her up once--what if he does it again?

She gets to Riverside Park, following the path until it curves into a garden. She looks around for a man in a t-shirt. 

And then, she sees him.

Ben Solo.

Hands in his pockets.

Wearing a Kylo Ren t-shirt.

She starts to cry. It is him. This whole time...it was really him. 

“Don’t cry, BookScavenger,” he says softly, brushing away her tears. “Don’t cry.” 

“I wanted it to be you,” she admits, still crying. “I wanted it to be you so badly.” 

Ben leans down and kisses her. It feels...right. It feels brand new and familiar all at once, like something she dreamed so often that it became a memory. She wraps her arms around his neck and kisses back, kisses Ben, kisses KyloRen, kisses her best and her dearest friend. 


End file.
